Increase academic success by teaching your child patience

We live in an instant society. From instant oatmeal to instant messaging, we want things right away. Our children are no different.

And yet a multi-year study shows that children who learn to wait for what they want do better throughout their lives and in school. In the study, researchers took preschoolers into a room and showed them a small sweet treat. They were told that they could eat the treat right away if they wished. But if they waited, they would receive two treats instead of one. Then the researchers were “called away.” They watched to see which children ate the treat and which ones waited.

Several years later, researchers contacted parents of the same children. They learned that those who had been able to wait were more successful than the children who ate the treat right away. Those who waited had higher grades. They were better able to cope with problems. They even had higher SAT scores!

This summer, why not take advantage of this research? Teach your child how to wait for what she wants. Here are some fun activities to try as a family that will help build everyone’s patience:

Plant seeds. Let your child decide on some flowers or herbs to plant in your yard. Give her the responsibility of watering and caring for them. Once they grow, your entire family will be able to enjoy beautiful flowers or yummy food to eat.
Construct a large puzzle together. No need to finish it all in one sitting. Set aside a little time each evening to work on it. Estimate how long you think it will take to complete.
Save. Set a family savings goal—a new TV, a day at the beach. Involve everyone in saving for your goal and keep a chart of your progress.
Give your child an allowance. Help her create a budget. Don’t bail her out if she overspends.
Schedule a fun activity every few weeks. Let your child help plan what you’ll do.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Yuichi Shoda, Walter Mischel and Philip Peake, “Predicting Adolescent Cognitive and Self-Regulatory Competencies From Preschool Delay of Gratification: Identifying Diagnostic Conditions,” Developmental Psychology, Vol. 26, No. 6, (American Psychological Association, 1-800-374-2721, www.apa.org).

Building Responsibility

Teach your child responsibility, build self-esteem with a pet

Some 63 percent of American families own a pet. There are good reasons to do so—especially if you make your child partly responsible for the pet.

Studies show that relationships with pets help children develop self-esteem and empathy. Children with pets relate better to peers, too.

Make sure your child’s duties with the pet match her age and abilities.

Here are some guidelines:

Explain that pets need attention and care. Take your child shopping for pet toys. Show her how to pet, groom and play with your pet. Help her teach the dog to “roll over” or “fetch.”
Put your child on clean-up duty—freshening the cat litter or cleaning out the hamster cage.
Allow your older child to feed the pet. A younger child can keep the pet’s water bowl fresh or put a pre-measured amount of food in the fish tank.
Show your child how you care for the pet’s health. Take her with you to the vet’s office.
Let your older child walk the dog. If she’s younger or small, go with her and attach two leashes, so you can both hold on. Your dog is too big for your child to walk on her own if it weighs more than 20 percent of her weight.
Make a written contract with your child. Include her specific duties for pet care. Have her sign it. This is especially important if you’re bringing home a new pet.

If you can’t have a real pet, explore virtual pets. Check out www.adoptme.com. Or ask neighbors if your child can help walk or feed their pet.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Sources: Vera Lawlor, “How Pets Teach Our Children: Responsibility? Yes, But Pets Provide Much More for Kids,” Family Fun, http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/learn/activities/feature/1102petsteach/1102petsteach.html; “Parents with Children 4-11 Years Old Who Currently Own a Pet,” Growing Up with Pets, Novartis Animal Health US, Inc., www.growingupwithpets.com/current_owners/en/involving_children.shtml.

Talking & Listening

Describe the kind of behavior you want and you may just get it

She studied hard and got a 90 on her test. You’re delighted and you want to praise your child for good behavior.

But think carefully before you speak. Some kinds of praise may actually make your child feel she can’t live up to what you’ve said.

Sometimes, parents overdo it. They say, “You’re a genius” to a child who got one good grade. That’s bound to make her nervous. “I’m no genius,” she may think. “Paul’s the genius. He got an A without even studying.”

Instead, try describing your child’s positive behavior. “You studied hard for that test,” you can say. After your child hears her accomplishments praised, she will praise herself. “I can do well in math if I work at it.”

It’s much easier to toss off a quick comment like “You’re great.” It’s harder to look carefully at what your child did and then put it into words. Once she begins to think of herself as a hard worker (or an honest person, or a person who writes funny letters), she will continue that behavior in the future.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, ISBN: 0-684-82472-8 (Scribner Paperbacks, published by Simon & Schuster, 1-800-223-2336, www.simonsays.com).

Screen Time

Enhance your child’s learning with appropriate video games

Video games get a bad “rap.” Some are very violent. But research shows that video games can help children think and learn.

Today’s complex games teach children to concentrate on important things and ignore stuff that doesn’t matter. Video games also help kids multi-task, work with others and use information to make decisions.

Games boost academic performance directly, too. In one study of elementary students, game playing increased language and vocabulary skills by 25 percent and math skills by 50 percent.

Support learning via games:

Let your child know you want to support his video game playing. Say you’ve heard playing video games can help him learn.
Try to understand some games. Ask your child to teach you one of them.
Show interest in your child’s games. Talk to him about which games he likes and why. What skills help him do well in a particular game? For questions to ask about games, go to www.gamesparentsteachers.com.
Take your child to the store or library to browse through the video game section. Or download one that you might play together.
Avoid violent games. Check the cover for violent content warnings.
Enforce limits for time spent playing video games. Remember that outdoor play and exercise are important for your child, too.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Marc Prensky, “Don’t Bother Me Mom—I’m Learning,” ISBN: 1-55778-858-8 (Paragon House, 1-800-447-3709, www.paragonhouse.com).