Follow six steps when talking about your child’s report card

Report card time can make parents almost as anxious as students. Is your child on track? Is she learning what she needs to know? Are you doing all you can to support her in school?

You can—and should—make report card time a chance to talk about your child’s progress in school. You should also talk about your expectations.

Here are six things to do when her report card comes home:

Take it seriously. No, a report card can’t tell you everything about how your child is doing. But your child’s teacher spends a lot of time making sure that the report card shows you a snapshot of where your child is now. Take time to read it carefully. Talk about it with your child.
Find something to praise. Even if your child didn’t do as well as you’d hoped, look for something positive. Be sure to read the comments about your child’s behavior and work habits.
Don’t lose your temper if your child’s grades weren’t what you’d expected. Wait until you can talk calmly about what you and your child can do to improve her grades.
Let your child know what you expect. Say things like, “You don’t have to be the best. But I do expect you to do your best.” Remind her that effort is as important as ability.
Look at your child’s work. You only see a report card a few times a year. But you can look at the work your child is doing every day. Does she do her homework? Does she do her best? There is a link between how hard students work and how much they learn. Point that out to your child.
Help your child develop good work habits. A child who sets aside time every day to read will learn to read better. A child who practices math every day will master math facts.

If you or your child has any questions about her report card be sure to schedule a conference with the teacher.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2006 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: GreatSchools.net Staff, “Understanding Report Cards,” Great Schools.net, www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/CA/30/improve.

Discipline

Use ‘WBP’ awards to teach your child self-discipline

Most kids (and many adults) find it hard to wait for something they want. But success in school—and in life—often means having the self-discipline to do just that.

Some people call this the “Work Before Play” rule. You can teach your child this rule by creating a special award.

One night at dinner, tell your child there will be a new award—the “WBP” award. It will go to the person in the family who did the best job of showing self-discipline during the week.

Then talk about times when family members put work before play. Your son may have finished his math homework, without being asked, before he went to a friend’s to play. Your daughter may have taken the dog for a walk before she watched TV.

You may be in the running yourself. Perhaps you started dinner in the morning so the family would have a tasty meal. Perhaps you worked through your lunch hour so you could come home early for a soccer game.

Post the name of the family WBP winner where everyone can see it. As you present the award each week, you’ll be helping your child develop the discipline to put work before play.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2006 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Linda and Richard Eyre, Teaching Your Children Values, ISBN: 0-671-76966-9 (Fireside Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, 1-800-456-6798, www.simonsays.com).

Building Character

Help your child get over the agony of defeat

Playing sports or games gives your child another way to succeed. But succeeding doesn’t mean winning every time.

If your child stomps off after a lost soccer game or pouts when she loses a game of checkers, she’s displaying poor sportsmanship. This can lead to other social problems, including difficulty making and keeping friends.

If your child’s a poor loser, here’s how to help:

Understand your child’s feelings. She probably worries about what others think of her when she loses. She may feel that winning equals being liked. Tell your child you love and value her whether she wins or loses.
Help your child set realistic goals for improving her skills. Celebrate when she does well passing the ball, regardless of whether her team won or lost.
Praise your child’s effort and growing skills. Stress her progress—what she’s learned and what she can now do that she couldn’t before.
Explain that playing sports is not all about winning. It’s fun! Remind her of the good times she’s had and friends she’s made.
Play a game with your child that she can win. When she wins, model the words and behavior of a good loser.
Don’t let your child win all the time when you play with her. That will lead to unrealistic expectations, disappointment and frustration when she plays with friends.
Watch the messages you send your child. Even asking, “Did you do your best?” can upset her. She doesn’t want to disappoint you. Assume she did her best.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2006 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Lawrence Kutner, Your School-Age Child, ISBN: 0-688-10217-4 (William Morrow and Company, 1-800-843-9389, www.harpercollins.com/imprints.asp?imprint=William%20Morrow).